Snape's Soliloquy
by DuchessLomia
Summary: This Story was written BEFORE HalfBloodPrince. It was what I wanted Snape to be, but turns out Severus Sucks Ballzz. Read this only if you want to. I won't delete it. It's nice.


The house was imposing alright. Sirius was not lying when he said they would need to clean it up. Snape felt right at home however. They had assigned rooms to those staying over the summer, mostly the Weasly clan and Hermione. That afternoon was spent exploring and discovering. Ginny had found a hat that changed the color of your hair, and Ron, Fred and George kept trying to play Quidditch in the backyard, although Mrs. Weasly yelled at them because the neighbors might see. Sirius and Lupin were locked up in the attic with Buckbeat, and Snape, Tonks, and Minerva were having a discussion in the kitchen. They were talking about how best to infiltrate the closest Deatheaters near Voldemort, namely Peter, Lucius, and Albert. Snape leaned back on his chair.

_No matter how much Snape tried to prove he was on Dumbledore's side, people still didn't trust him, well, pretty much no one trusted him. _

"I do believe it is easiest to talk to the lower ranking individuals, and then gradually move up. You don't want anyone to get suspicious." Snape had explained the hierarchy of the Deatheaters formation and about how they were wary with his presence. Voldemort had not yet talked to Snape, and he was kissing butt with Lucius, Crab, and Goyle, trying to stay under cover. Suddenly in a flash, Dumbledore apparated in the dingy kitchen. "Severus, we may need your help. Your loyalty is vital in this mission." He explained hastily. Lupin and Sirius came running into the kitchen, and Molly told the children to go outside and play Quidditch. "What's this all about?" Minerva asked. Dumbledore cleared his throat. "I've had news from one of our confidants; It appears that Lucius and three other Deatheaters are planning a raid on Mughaven Street. You all know that's an entirely muggle community." Snape was startled.

_This sounded like a Deatheater initiation rite, the type of passage that proved whether someone was able to join Voldemort or be killed. Usually one senior Deatheater and three to four newbies were sent on a mission, a very destructive, dangerous, mission. Snape shuddered. He remembered his initiation rite, the first time he'd ever killed a human._

"I need you to break them up Severus. You'll know what to do." Snape looked at Dumbledore. "Wait, all I need to do is go over to Lucius's house and pretend to be concerned about Draco. That could stall him long enough perhaps." Dumbledore nodded no. "They've already left. You must do this Severus; I am placing my trust in you." Snape shriveled at that comment. Dumbledore's trust was not easily given, and once broke, not easily forgiven. Tonks looked at him. "Will you do this? Or will you go off and join your friend Lucius?"

_Snape had quite a dilemma. He was loyal to The Order, yet if he went to Lucius he would have to pretend to be loyal to Voldemort. None of his old Deatheater friends knew that Severus had not killed anyone in over seventeen years. Snape also had conflicting feelings. Laying waste to a bunch of muggles would please pure-blood loving Snape to no end, and yet he wanted badly to do good, to rectify his past mistakes. Really all Snape wanted was for everyone to get off his back and leave him alone! _

They heard gasps from behind the door. "Oh for Pete's sake!" Molly yanked the door open and grabbed several ears that were trailing on the floor. Sirius chuckled and Molly glared at him. "You gave them the idea for those!" Lupin coughed to disguise a laugh. Dumbledore looked at Molly. "It's not right to keep them in the dark. They've already proven themselves quite capable of handling the situation. Harry is lucky to have such friends." Tonks shrugged. "It's up to their parents." Molly replied. "I know what's best for my children." Sirius and Lupin meanwhile were staring at the ceiling. Sirius pointed to a black spider and two smaller ones, "I call him Moe, and those are Larry and Curly."

_Snape was pacing the room anxiously trying to figure out how to stop this raid. His first instinct was to let them all burn, but he wanted peace. He was tired of war and bloodshed, of always looking behind his shoulder. The real reason he'd left the Deatheaters was because of the backstabbing. Everyone always trying to be number one, and killing anyone who got in the way. Snape enjoyed death, but not in over abundance. As long as human lives were at stake he'd always side with the good, and Dumbledore was good. He treated everyone equally, and everybody knew their place. If Snape ever needed anything at all, Dumbledore was their as a friend. That was more than he could say about Voldemort, who just knocked off anyone who requested something. Dumbledore had trusted him enough to let him teach at Hogwarts, and Snape was forever grateful. It had been nice, teaching students and being left alone, until that abhorred Harry Potter had come along. He and his conniving friends had made a fool out of Snape, but Snape was not above failing Harry. He would never actually kill the boy, he wouldn't even hurt him..Much.. His only problem was that Harry reminded Snape of James. James, the little arrogant twerp, with his group of teasing, torturing buddies. Snape had never gotten over that, and his grudge had lasted into the next Potter generation._

The two remaining Marauders were telling dirty jokes, and Minerva kept clicking her tongue in disapproval. "I don't know what may happen, but I give you my word I will try." Snape shook Dumbledore's hand and walked out. Behind him he heard Sirius exclaim "Let the door hit your arse on the way out!" Snape fumed as he walked.

_He_ _had never understood those four boys, with their relentless teasing and utter goal to destroy any self-respect Snap had left. Now with Sirius and Lupin back together his life had become even more miserable. Lupin had resumed his bashing several years back, when Dumbledore allowed him to teach the one job Snape desired more than anything. When Severus had walked into Lupin's office to discuss his potion regime, Lupin had smacked Snape on the back and said "Great to see you again buddy!" Snape then had to walk around all day with a note stuck to his back that said "Stupify Me". But Snape had never done anything to Lupin that year. He never poisoned his werewolf potion, never hit or smacked him, and never followed him when he went out in the early mornings. All Snape wanted was for everyone to get off his back. If he left them alone, why couldn't they leave him alone? Snape thought about Peter. Little scheming rat Peter. He had been shocked fifteen years ago to discover Sirius had betrayed Lily and James, only to learn two years ago that it had been Peter who betrayed the entire order. Snape's personal agenda was to track down that man and personally rip his throat out and gauge his eyes in. The thought of violence excited Snape, and he walked faster._

Snape walked between the alley that led to Mughaven and heard voices. He stopped to listen. "Then we string them up by their belts and laugh as they struggle to get down." It was Steven, one of the newer Deatheaters. Snape knew what they were planning, but he also knew what would happen. If one Deatheater failed in this initiation rite, all four would be put to death. Including Lucius Malfoy. Snape's head spun, he was not good at hard thinking. If he came out to them now, he would have to join them and pretend to be on their side, yet if he hid and perhaps damaged their mission, he would be putting them all at risk for their lives. He didn't care about the newbies, but Lucius was his friend, his confidante. Snape began to sweat. The four men were approaching the first house. Snape looked around, he watched as they approached the muggle's transportation vehicle, a car. Snape wondered, didn't cars have little alarms on them that went off when they got touched? He saw a cat slinking up to the car and waved his wand. He brought the cat up a bit and bounced it off the back. The car went off and the four men ran behind a bush. They had no idea what this was!

The muggle owner opened the door and held out a little gadget. "Damn cats" they muttered as the car went off. Snape's heart was pounding. He watched as two Deatheaters created a strange globe between their two wands. Slime! They would slime the entire house with goop! Snape cursed, then lifted his wand and banished the gunk. Lucius screamed, "What the hell are you doing?" Sparks came out of his wand. "Are you too wussy to do this?" He accused on of them. The three men fought as the fourth one ran over to a tree. Snape watched as the man muttered a charm under his breath. Snape whispered "Mobilius arms." He now had control of the man's arm. He watched the man struggle as Lucius came over to him. "Go on, set it on fire, burn the whole damn neighborhood!" Snape flicked his wand, and the man slapped Lucius

_He could never forgive him when Lucius had told Voldemort about Snape running to Dumbledore. Snape had had to some quick thinking when confronted, and so he had lied. He said he was a spy for the Deatheaters and was going to join their Order, when in reality he had joined the Order and spied for them. He had given away precious documents from Voldemort to Dumbledore. His only problem had been Peter. He had never known the boy was a double agent too, and was spying on Snape. Luckily, Snape never gave away his position, and the Deatheaters to this day never knew the truth. _Lucius was yelling at the man, and Snape did something rash. _He had to stop the Deatheaters from succeeding, yet if they failed Lucius would be put to death. No matter how important or popular a person may be, Voldemort did not accept failure. Snape laughed as he tried to imagine Tonks as a Deatheater and not an Auror. He hated that annoying clumsy girl, well, he hated everyone. _

Snape pointed at a bush farther down the road, away from the houses, and set it on fire. The four men jumped and ran towards the bush, then Snape set fire to another bush

_He was going to make sure no muggles died tonight, but if he knew Lucius as well as he thought, as long as there was destruction Lucius would brag that he did it. He was always taking credit for things that he did not do. His son was a good liar too. Snape had always enjoyed Draco's twisted mind, but was worried when he saw that Draco was beginning to emulate his father. He had taken him aside once to try and talk about the difference between good and evil. Snape had tried to make Draco understand how good Dumbledore was, and how frightening and evil Voldemort was. Only to Snapes dismay Draco had laughed and walked off. Snape had realized it was April 1st when he chose to talk to Draco._

The four men were screaming and yelling for the hidden person to reveal themselves. They had caught on that this was no ordinary event. He continued to burn the bushes that stood off to the sides of the road; Muggles were coming out of their homes to see what was happing; and Snape watched as the Deatheaters conversed. Most likely they were talking about taking the credit and cutting their losses. They had created a disturbance, it was good enough for a first-timer, but Snape knew if they went back, they would be forced to do something even worse. They might live, but Snape worried for their souls.

He walked back to Grimmauld Place and set aside time for the next day. He had to talk to Lucius.


End file.
